always a first

I'm not big on posting things like this up on the internet, but it was a good day so I couldn't resist. Went to Mr. Bartley's Burger joint and ate some delicious burgers.... We happened to get seated next to a sign that said "Men, That was my first mistake" (top right) and she thought it was the perfect sign for us HAHA - a sign from God. Then took her to Crema Cafe and I got the regular Cappuccino (kind of like an overpriced coffee) and Christine got the Red Crema (most delicious drink ever!). Had a nice little chit chat and then headed over to Sweets to get some cupcakes. The End.

Can I just say, that this was one of the most stress-relieving and fun days I've had in a long time (with the exception of the DC trip... love yall). Really felt like I had some genuine fun and praise God for keeping the weather pretty okay! Really... I am craving the Red Crema... but it will come another day. Thanks Christine for today! Youda Best.

But other than that, today was a pretty tiring day... spent all day running around doing things and trying to finish homework, but turns out, I didn't finish it. Sad times... but almost done and will have to spend majority of tomorrow finishing it all up. Can't wait... But really, praise God for today.

"May I seek you daily, in all that I do so that You are glorified and lifted up in all things. May I even offer my relationships, my academics and my future up to you and acknowledge the truth that You have great things in store for me and You will provide for me in all things. So keep my eyes on You. Keep my heart longing for You. My flesh cries out for the world but my soul longs for You and only You. May you remember that my soul longs for you and that You have separated me from my flesh. Let me be blameless in Your sight and continue to live in Your redemption and grace." 

problem sets

problem sets drive me crazy. You think you know the material after you walk out of lectures... and actually... you actually feel like you learned something that day. And then you start the problem set. I feel like everything that I thought I once knew becomes a lie and nothing on the problem set makes sense. Math becomes twisted... concepts don't exist... and worst of all! You can never seem to find the things you need to find in your notes. I swear, I saw it during lecture and then it just doesn't exist... I scourge through my notes and find that I am utterly lost. I have NOTHING.

I am currently working on my Thermodynamics Problem Set... (I just finished my Control Systems one and praise the Lord for comprehensible problem sets in that class)... and I just needed a break. There are so few concepts that we have learned so far... and yet somehow, it seems like there is a butt load of information hidden and stored away in each problem. Each word means something... there are subtle clues that I have just not gotten a hold of. There are minor differences in systems and those minor differences leads to huge mathematical leaps... I just can't seem to put 2 and 2 together...

I wish that I was able to manage my time a little better. Honestly, there are plenty of times when my outside life really inconveniences me because I always follow a strict schedule. And I am usually limited on time... (a lot of times because I procrastinate.... or "rest" as I like to call it). I need to just stop "resting" so much and just get started on my homework assignments a lot earlier. I could have done this ridiculous lab report over Spring Break... but then, who wants to do work over Spring Break?!... so, I didn't touch it once. If I didn't have to write this wretched lab report, my life would be exponentially easier at this point. But I just never look ahead and always leave things for the last minute. Why? WHY do I do this to myself? I don't know... and yet, I will continue on doing it for a very long time (if not forever) and it will be the end of me. Someday, I will grasp this and learn to do things a lot earlier than they are due instead of scrambling to finish things last minute. I remember seeing a quote: "If you do something last minute, it only takes a minute to finish it"... so true. HAHA but obviously, the twist is... you're probably not going to get a very good grade at all. What I find hardest to do in college, is to deny hanging out. It gets easier as we get older (mostly because we're always so tired), but it really is very difficult to say "no" to hanging out. We know that "we'll only hang out for an hour or two..." turns into three to four hours.... and "I'll do it after this movie" turns into doing it the next day or the day after... in the end, we are all just procrastinating. I realize. It is 5AM... I am tired as hell... have not gotten too much sleep lately and will not be getting a lot of sleep tomorrow. (Sorry Weeny, I know you're sleeping so you're not gonna be tired... but guess I'll be purty tired tomorrow). I hate waking up early to do something on the weekends unless it's something fun. Especially when it requires me to leave the room. Stuvi2 is so comfortable and it is so easy to get lost in here. I have grown accustomed to this lifestyle and I love being in my room. Even on a nice day, I find myself admiring from the inside (yeah, it's sad) but it's pleasant. Okay, time for bed. I am falling asleep as I write this. Good night world.

redundancy

they say that doing the same thing over and over again without success is called madness... if this is true, then has the world gone mad? We live in a world where redundancy and consistency is "worshiped" or even revered. If you are a person that can live strong for many years in a consistent manner, then you are good. But this is such a flawed philosophy... I feel like the intentions are good but the truth of the matter is... we are people, and we screw up every good idea out there just by human nature.

So, we think that having this sort of mindset will keep us living consistent lives... and that is true, but there is one thing that a lot of people seem to forget... or they just push it off to the side as if it doesn't matter because they are scared..... and that is the bad habits. The bad consistency. The things in life that you wish were inconsistent. When you pick up bad habits... you often find yourself not even wanting to continue living life with those bad habits. You find yourself getting annoyed at how you feel like you are at the mercy of those bad habits. And so, our pre-conditioned nature to be consistent kicks in and so we start keeping our bad tendencies consistent... which ultimately builds it up into a habit. And habits. are. hard. to. break.

I find myself in this situation. I've got this nagging bad habit of mine and I really want to stop it. But, as I said before... bad habits are hard to get rid of. They take time... they take revealing... they take a lot of patience. It takes a lot of help from people around you to keep you aware of those bad habits or to prevent you from performing those bad habits. But it also takes a lot of prayer. Prayer for strength to help you live on and be consistent in fighting the bad. In the end, it all falls down to ratios. What is the ratio of good to bad? And most importantly... what is the ratio of "fighting the bad" to "doing nothing". Doing nothing equates to giving up. And the last thing you wanna do... is give up. or else we become consistent in that, and that will definitely lead us to our deaths a lot quicker than we may expect.

timeless

Just finished watching Apollo 13... and seriously, what an incredible movie. Engineers really are amazing... people really are amazing...

On a side note... decisions really play a big part in life huh... That sounds like such a "duh" statement, but I don't think people really understand the weight of a decision. It's so easy for us to live our lives as though every bad decision we make will end up in a redeeming point at some later point... but sometimes, that just doesn't happen. Sometimes, we need to deal with the bad decisions of our lives... But who is to say what is a bad decision and what is a good decision? There is that thing called a "wise decision" and people often consider a good and wise decision to be synonymous. But I don't think they are... a wise decision is always a good decision, but a good decision is not always a wise one. Sometimes... the good choices in life, were done in an unwise manner.

I wonder... can this be applied to my life? Can my near-spontaneous decisions be considered good decisions? I feel like by constantly living to try making wise decisions... I live in a lot of fear... I live fearful of making mistakes... sometimes, it's the mistakes that help you grow. Yeah sure, people get hurt through mistakes and I'm at risk of getting hurt by my own mistakes... but as someone said once: "What and If: two words as simple as any other words, but when put together they have the potential to make us rue the rest of or lives."

So is it better to make the "wiser" decision or is it better to sometimes take the risk so that I can live life without any regrets? Not to say that wisdom is useless and it is not helpful... but I also think there is wisdom behind knowing when to make the "wise" decisions and when to make the "good" decisions. Doing the "wiser" thing doesn't make you a wise person...

Do I sound crazy? Well, these are my thoughts. And opinions aren't meant for refining... otherwise we'd all be the same person... and that's a pretty cruddy life.