Waiting, waiting waiting... joyfully?

Lately, a lot of things in life are requiring me to wait... But waiting is an arbitrary term.... We're often taught in church of two types of waiting: Active Waiting and Passive Waiting. Actively waiting is to "wait" on the Lord and to wait for Him to direct you as you continue to live on life and make decisions whereas passively waiting is to halt a decision that needs to be made in order that you can fully hear God's divine intervention and calling.

I'm in a period of my life where there is a lot of waiting that needs to happen. I need to wait to hear back for jobs, or wait till it's the right time to apply (in some cases). And in this case, people are especially weak because we either become lazy and thus "quit" waiting or become absolutely restless because we feel the need to make decisions now. And thus it becomes an issue for me when I try to explain my situation... I am waiting... because I want to figure out what exactly I want to do with my life... I am meditating, planning, thinking quite a bit... but I'm most definitely not being lazy. The problem is that it's difficult to explain all of that in a short sentence (just long enough to maintain their attention) without going on this elongated story that neither I want to tell nor does the listener really care enough to hear.

But in all other cases, waiting kills me. I think it kills me because I am at a complete standstill. I don't know what to feel, think, do. I just sit here idly... confused by my mind and heart. It's a confusing state and it's frustrating. But I feel that God is calling me to be silent and listen. To seek first the Kingdom. To desire Him above all else. More than a job, money, security, a girl, etc. I need to find delight in Him. But man does it suck and it's hard. When I read or hear about stories in the bible of people who've waited 40 years... or generations... I wonder.. how the hell do they do that? And then I realize... and remember... that it's because the Good News... the story of redemption, the revealing of God's promise for that time or the future times is just that good. That it's worth waiting decades for... centuries for... lifetimes for. It's foolishness in the public's eye... but our eyes are foolish and blind. And foolish sightings of a blind man are void anyway.

God, give me sight to see just how amazing you are. A few years as a sojourner are nothing in comparison to the immense riches that await me once I come back Home. Give me the patience to wait it out a bit longer and to find joy while waiting. As things come together, may I continue to give you joy and delight in what you have blessed me with.