A Benediction...

To you who see your circumstances and feel despair and doubt rise up in you, tune your ear to the words of the prophet Isaiah: Fear not, for the Lord has redeemed you. He has called you by name and you are His. When you pass through the waters, He will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For He is the LORD your God, the Holy One, your Savior." God in the Peace of our God who is Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Amen. 

I hope and pray that these words will speak truth into you. Awesome.



Beware of not acting upon what you see in your moments on the mountaintop with God. If you do not obey the light, it will turn into darkness. “If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness!” (Matthew 6:23). The moment you forsake the matter of sanctification or neglect anything else on which God has given you His light, your spiritual life begins to disintegrate within you. Continually bring the truth out into your real life, working it out into every area, or else even the light that you possess will itself prove to be a curse.

The most difficult person to deal with is the one who has the prideful self-satisfaction of a past experience, but is not working that experience out in his everyday life. If you say you are sanctified, show it. The experience must be so genuine that it shows in your life. Beware of any belief that makes you self-indulgent or self-gratifying; that belief came from the pit of hell itself, regardless of how beautiful it may sound.

Your theology must work itself out, exhibiting itself in your most common everyday relationships. Our Lord said, “. . . unless your righteousness exceeds the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 5:20). In other words, you must be more moral than the most moral person you know. You may know all about the doctrine of sanctification, but are you working it out in the everyday issues of your life? Every detail of your life, whether physical, moral, or spiritual, is to be judged and measured by the standard of the atonement by the Cross of Christ.

I'm Worn...

You know when a song somehow sings out the very things that you're feeling and you can't help but seem to surrender yourself to the song? Yeah.

I'm tired
I'm worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes to keep on breathing

I've made mistakes
I've let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed
By the weight of this world
And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn

I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
Cause I'm worn

I know I need
To lift my eyes up
But I'm too weak
Life just won't let up
And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left
Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn

I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
Cause I'm worn

And my prayers are wearing thin
I'm worn even before the day begins
I'm worn I've lost my will to fight
I'm worn so heaven so come and flood my eyes

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn

I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
Yes all that's dead inside will be reborn
Though I'm worn
Yeah I'm worn

I Can See Again...

I've been listening to a lot of Mars Hill Church music lately, and it's so captivating. I've heard people call it, the musician's music but it's more than that. Given that they really are worshiping through these songs, it is the true form of worship in the form of music. I could listen to this stuff forever. 

I just finished reading the first book to the "Night Angel" series (The Way of the Shadows) and it was an amazing read. I couldn't put down the book. I would get tired of reading books; so I would go to do something else but within 5 minutes, I was sticking my nose back into the book. Now, I just need to get that same kind of want for the Bible. I've been doing some consistent reading of the Word and not going to lie, it really changes things in your life. It's almost coincidental; but you really start to believe that the things happening your life are perfectly orchestrated by God. Whether it is the good or the bad, the series of events become something more than just "happenings". They actually start to hold weight and meaning. 

I've been going to Apostle's Church in the city every Sunday and obviously this requires me to take trips out to the city each weekend. After consistent trips out, I've come to appreciate the city for what it has to offer. I actually don't mind going out to the city as often (maybe it's because I've started taking the Express Bus rather than the local route. 

I've been feeling an impulse to write something for some time but now that I'm writing, I don't really feel as though I have anything substantial to say so I will end it at this. 

Goodnight. 

That awkward moment when...

Don't you just hate it when you have a very slow day and nothing is going on at night so you decide to go to bed early and then you realize you can't fall asleep because your mind is racing. Next thing you know, it's 2AM and you're wide awake and your mind is still going: "kjafnLFIUASD;DN qojfopq' JFOPQJDASD IWQE02&$)!@&$)(&()JDOIJdasd au(WSdslkadjadjnoas d9)!(@$&!@){$&(DASOKDJoajd:)()(hdklAHDLASJDKSAJDIOnkanKNFDKASDFLASKNDNAlkjnflksnfsdnf;folsnjf;klanfafn'fanflnsmkjfnscnwdsfmsnfs;kldfandfsnfos;daf......wsfasnfsdjfla...ano;FNLSAD;ANDFSNF;nskanfjdknf;()&)#U$()*#&%)!&@$_!@*$()$*@*!P@*#()UAJDljdladlakjdakmdalkdlala;d.........

Yeah, well I'm having one of those moments right now. It's like all my thoughts are just white noise and it just won't shut up. 

So frustrating when you're mind is racing and you've got so many thoughts swimming through your head. I should invent something that can literally shut your brain off when you're sleeping... Would be a bit dangerous in the protoyping stage... especially with humans... if you accidentally shut the brain off for good... HAHA

Anyway... Johnny Woo suggested I go read 1 Chronicles. Sounds like sound advice. 

Insert Title Here...

I just got back from Europe 2 days ago and it was definitely an experience. There was a lot of planning that went into the Europe Trip that my dad and I underwent and a lot of it went according to plan and a lot of it didn't (i.e. we were too tired to visit some museums). In total, we covered 8 different countries (Netherlands, Germany, France, Luxembourg, Belgium, Swtizerland, Lichtenstein and Austria). Everyday was a new thing, a new destination a new agenda. It was very tiring and mentally taxing but it was also a very refreshing experience.

As I finished up my Europe trip, I remembered just how much young American people fantasize and glorify Europe. We often dream of it as a place of romance or a place where there is character and history and hipster concepts. A place where everyone dresses well and where you would want to find love. I too used to think that way but after traveling across Europe, I have become very disillusioned about Europe to say the least. In it's own way, it is a very broken country with a lot of dark history but it also harbors a great deal of hope... hope to rebuild, hope to be better. People often dream of living in Europe... to that, I say that America really is one of the best places in the world to settle down. What I realized is that Americans have seriously become fattened and drunk on the concept of the "American Dream". As kids, we were taught to live with an attitude that if we want it, we can get it. However, since when has just the "thought" been enough to cause people to really strive for certain things. After having been taught to think and dream like a champion, we forget that in order for those dreams to become reality, we need to act.

This is most definitely not a criticism towards Americans with the only message being that Americans have turned into stupid, slobbering pigs. More so, it's a reminder to myself that this world is not all that willing to help me as I live my life. The illusion that my teachers up until now have been building has been deteriorating slowly and I am starting to see the world as it is and has been since the beginning of time. Just because I was born in America does not guarantee an easier way of life. What I started to see now, is that more than having the "American" perspective on things in life, it's essential to have a GLOBAL perspective. This world is moving so fast and information is accessible all across the world at an incomprehensible speed. It now makes what seemed like a vast world into a small area that is within "walking distance".

But how does this thinking fit into the Christian perspective? Aren't we as Christians supposed to be moving away from the worldly perspective? So isn't this basically all garbage? No. I think that by following the Christian perspective, we actually follow this kind of thinking on a much larger scale... So now, the world isn't an "area"... it's just a point on an infinite plane. Because our goal isn't understanding the way the world works... If we really follow the Christian perspective, then God puts our focus on the Kingdom... the infinite plane. And so this single point within the infinite becomes so small that it's (as mathematicians like to say)... negligible. God says, don't worry about this small point in the infinite... we get so tripped over this single point that we forget that there is a sea of infinite!

I am so guilty of this. I think this trip to Europe and getting a small taste of how infinitesimally small I am has thrown me out of whack and so my brain is fried and I am just all over the place mentally. I can't seem to get a grasp on reality and I got so shocked that I just started to think... what the heck is the point in all of this... But I failed to remember (and I am slowly being reminded) that that is why the gospel is so profound! Because despite the fact that we are such NOTHINGS in all of life... God has perfectly placed you, a mere electron in this infinite plane, exactly where he wants you and he has not forgotten your place in this vastness. In fact, more so than just remembering where you are, He is WATCHING you each and every moment you exist... and He adores you. He is so joyed by the fact that you are there... And so whenever we feel like our existence is so meaningless, remember that there is a God out there that has appointed meaning to your seemingly useless life and He can't WAIT till you see it, grasp it, and live it.

Really...?

I can really be so dumb sometimes... It amazes me.

They say people who are all brains have no common sense/"street smarts"... and vice versa...

What if you got neither. What are you then?

What the hell was that all about?...

God’s grace produces men and women with a strong family likeness to Jesus Christ, not pampered, spoiled weaklings. It takes a tremendous amount of discipline to live the worthy and excellent life of a disciple of Jesus in the realities of life. And it is always necessary for us to make an effort to live a life of worth and excellence.

Something that has been coming up a lot is the question: "Why do I keep making the same mistakes? I'm so disappointed in myself" And the more and more I pray and seek after God, I am coming to realize that God is okay with the fact that we are making the same mistakes. We are only human. But this cannot be mistaken with the fact that God still wants us to live with the mindset that we must put everything that we have into seeking after Him and doing His will. We must acknowledge our unworthiness, because it is not we who have redeemed ourselves, nor is it we who provide grace, strength, courage and salvation. God is the provider of grace and it is this very grace that turns weak people into strong men and women who are in the likeness of Christ. We have been grown and nurtured in a society where you earn your respect and earn your right to take up a significant part in this life. But God counters that and says that we have not earned anything and we cannot earn it. There is no way that we can earn grace and salvation. It was freely given not because God wanted to flaunt his awesome power... but because He wanted us to live in love. He wanted us to live free of the burdens of this world; breaking the very concept that we need to earn before we deserve.

God has been humbling me a lot these days (be careful what you pray for...). But I welcome it wearily. Being humbled by God comes at a price; your pride. It might seem like such a "1+1=2" concept, but this is something that people often hear and yet don't understand. Too often we live life like we're looking at our watches. We check the time always, yet we never know what time it is.

When God humbles you, He will BREAK you. Everyday, I am being broken... and it hurts like hell. My words mean nothing, my voice is all but mush, my thoughts are simple and foolish, and I am left as nothing but "nothingness". I'd be lying if I said that I'm having the time of my life, especially because as I am undergoing these humbling moments, I am really living out these humbling moments. As in, God is really imposing on me that I need to be humbled. And as much as I want to cry out "God, break me more and mold me into your masterpiece", I can't help but think of the pain and burning I will feel as I am thrown into the furnace for refinement. It's like when you throw ores into the fire, the pure metal gets separated from the impurities because all things have different melting points. In the same way, God will throw us into the fire as ores and we will emerge empowered by His holy flames with the ability to shake off and scrape off the impurities.

God, be my blacksmith...