It's really shocking how easily people can be blinded from the rest of the world simply by the few things going on around their immediate vicinity. For example, for most college students, it is finals week... otherwise known as hell week... and for good reason. On a side note, I must say that I think it is pretty stupid how your entire semester's worth of effort can be dependent on a single exam at the end of it all, but that is besides the point. So, like most college students, I am currently in the midst of studying for my finals. And I cannot lie, it is a very stressful experience. Not because I have so much work, but just the weight of these exams... the fact that my passing or failing a class depends almost entirely on these one or two exams. Now, as I study for these exams, I get stressed out, depressed (mildly), bummed out, annoyed, tired, etc. And while coping with all of these emotions, I have turned a blind eye to the one thing that brings me peace and joy: Jesus. "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed" (Proverbs 16:3). I've forgotten this... while furiously trying to scrap together the leftover information in my tired brain, I've come to realize that I was missing the key element that was supposed to be driving me through these finals in glorious light! I often found myself wondering... "what's the point in studying for these stupid finals? What am I supposed to learn from this?" and I still do feel bitter and angry towards finals; however, I have come to realize that all that I do is for God. My being able to study is a privilege and I need to take full advantage of that. Too bad it's nearing the "too late" point in deciding to pick it up, but it's never too late to try.
At this point, my brain is shutting off... I am so out of it and my brain is so tired that it can't really seem to function all too well anymore. I'm just rotting away (or at least that is what I feel like). I wonder if any of the information I just studied is staying in my brain and actually remaining there for good. Will this be another fail? God... just don't give me another D. I can't afford it you know? I mean, unless I'm meant to get kicked out... I just don't know what else to do but beg that you won't give me a D. Just let me graduate please... Who would have thought that I would be saying that? I used to be the kid that worried he wouldn't graduate as Valedictorian... now I'm begging desperately to just graduate... Oh how far I've stooped. It's actually kind of sad and depressing... so let's move onto other things!
Once Thursday hits... I will be done. I will simply enjoy the fact that I am free and able to do whatever the crap I want to do. Nothing will hold me back from letting loose and having fun. I hope the weather lets up so that I can at least go take some pictures and enjoy my last few days spent here in Boston before I head home for a long summer.
Anyways, back to the problem set :) Toodles!
P.S. I have a wonderful girlfriend whom I am so grateful for. Countless times, she has helped me pull through tough situations even with just small words of encouragement. Thank you Christine for being such a faithful woman of God and helping me open my eyes to the light of Christ! I really am so thankful that God has placed you into my life... you've been such a great friend to me throughout our time here at college but there is too much to thank you for, so I will end it at that.
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